


Sugar, We're Going Down.

by Ashida



Series: A Series of Unfortunate One Shots [5]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:57:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2401001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashida/pseuds/Ashida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were no match for Godzilla Asami, once he got his first taste of sugar, he was unstoppable, the end was coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar, We're Going Down.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of a few too many ciders and some very good company. I have no other excuses.

Sugar, We’re Going Down.

 

 

*****

 

 

It was Friday morning, the beginning of the end, for Kirishima Kei.

 

Asami was on his way out of the penthouse, with his loyal secretary in tow, when it happened.

 

That brat, Takaba, left a bag of candy on the dining room table.

Kirishima tried to shield the sugary sweets from his boss’s view as they walked, but it was too late. Kirishima felt his life span shorten significantly when his boss stopped, and plucked the bag of impending doom off the table.

“Ah, let me get rid of that for you, Asami sama.” Kirishima urged, holding his hand out, hoping for salvation.

“It’s fine, Kirishima.” His boss continued walking, reaching into the bag, Kirishima’s life flashed before his eyes.

“Boss, are you sure that’s a good idea?” he interrupted before the sweet could hit his boss’s lips. Millimeters away from the apocalypse.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“…Asami sama, you know. What happens.” Kirishima struggled with words, because there were none to explain what happened when his boss consumed high amounts of sugar.

His boss stopped then, turning to look at him with a quizzical brow.

“What happens?” came the monotone question. Defensive.

“You know what you get like.” Kirishima admonished, sweating in his suit.

“What do I get like, hm?” his boss threw the candy into his mouth, and smiled as the gelatinous treat dissolved on his tongue.

It wasn’t too late, to save the world yet.

Kirishima backed around, blocking his boss’s exit now, he couldn’t let Asami Ryuichi go outside after sugar consumption.

“You know what I’m talking about Asami sama.” Kirishima really didn’t want to say it.

“Spell it out, Kirishima.” His boss ordered.

 

“…..Boss, you get hyper.” The secretary stated.

“Do not.” Another candy followed the defensive remark.

 

The situation was fast getting out of hand.

“You do.” The first step to getting over a problem, was to admit you had one, but that would never happen.

“I don’t, you just get boring.” Another candy consumed. Kirishima sighed, no, it would never happen.

“Asami sama.” He entreated. “Put the bag down.”

“No, Kirishima, I don’t think I will.”

 

Doomed, they were all doomed. The secretary slunk away to the kitchen to send Suoh a message and then call the person responsible for this mess, leaving Asami to guard his bag of treats in the lounge, there wasn’t a chance in hell of getting them off him now.

First, the text to Suoh: _‘Sugar, we’re going down.’_

From wherever Suoh was, he would lock down all of Tokyo, and freeze Asami’s assets so that he couldn’t make any sugar crazed purchases like last time.

Then, Suoh would cancel all meetings for the next two days, the first day was for the high, the second day was for the come down, Kirishima could never decide which one was worse. One thing was for sure though, his boss couldn’t see any business partners, clients or rivals in that time.

No one could know Asami Ryuichi’s true weakness. Sugar.

 

Once that was done, he called the brat. He picked up after two rings, and so he should, this was a damn emergency!

_“Kirishima wh-“_

“Takaba, what did I tell you about leaving your candy in the penthouse. Asami sama found them!” Kirishima tried not to hiss his irritation.

 _“Oh, that bastard didn’t throw them out did he?!”_ he could hear the blonde bristle on the other end, but oh, Kirishima wished what Takaba said were true.

“…No Takaba, something much worse than that.”

 _“Huh, what are you talking about?”_ Poor boy was confused now.

“Takaba, he ate them!” Kirishima tried to stay calm.

_“What? I thought he didn’t like sweets?”_

The spectacled man paced across the kitchen, getting more and more unhinged with each step as he explained.

“It’s not that he doesn’t like sweets. It’s that he bounces off the walls and turns into a giant man child with a gun! Get your ass back here and take care of the problem you created, Takaba!”

 _“Is this for real? Or are you just trying to lure me back?”_ the blonde sounded suspicious.

“Takaba, do I ever make jokes?” This was enough to convince Akihito.

_“Oh my god, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Haha! I’ll be right there, Kirishima.”_

The phone clicked off, Kirishima cringed. Takaba might sound amused now, but it would be a different story when he actually saw the sugar hulk.

In the meantime, he just had to find a cupboard to hide in, or a closet, or anywhe-

“Kei! Lets have some target practice!” too late.

He turned to see his boss, with sugar filled glee in his eyes, a gun in each hand, barrels pointed towards the ceiling.

“Boss, put the guns down.”

 

It was going to be a long wait, until Takaba got to the penthouse.

 

*****

 

Was it an hour, or 5 hours, or 5 days? Kirishima didn’t know, but the sound of the penthouse door opening sounded exactly like freedom.

 

In the time it took Takaba to get to the penthouse, his boss had pretend brought a new jet, an island, 2 sweets companies and a chocolate factory. Suoh froze the accounts just in time, his boss may have _thought_ he was buying things from his home office, but he really wasn’t, thank goodness.

 

“Boss, that’s Takaba.” His words brought the man out his his clicking frenzy.

“Oh good! He’s much more fun than you, Kei.” The man’s smile widened as he walked the halls to find Akihito in the lounge already, inspecting the finished bag of sweets on the table, mouth open in disbelief.

Asami ignored that part, choosing to prowl up to his lover and take him in an embrace, looking down at him with sugar coated features.

“Akihito, you’re home! I brought you an island, and a plane. Are you hungry? Do you want some sushi, chocolate maybe? OH! Chocolate covered sushi!” with that, he placed soppy kisses all over Akihito’s face, ignoring the sputtering blonde, who was trying to process what was actually happening right now.

He managed to push away from the over bearing sugar monster, looking around him to stare at Kirishima and mouth the words ‘oh my god.’ before he burst out laughing.

 

Asami laughed with him too, and if they hadn’t just skirted WW3, then Kirshima would have thought the pair looked good, laughing together like that. But he knew the truth about his boss and sugar, this had been a narrow miss.

 

The secretary took his chance to escape as his boss threw Akihito down on the couch, tickling him and kissing him all over as they continued giggling.

“Kirishima! Bring more sweets!” his boss yelled before he could shut the penthouse door.

 

*****

 

“Oh yes, Asami. More!” Akihito pleaded as Asami held the chocolate inches away from his mouth with his teeth.

They were laying on the bed, the larger man had Akihito pinned on his back, straddling him as he fed him sweet after sweet with his mouth.

“Please, Asami.” Akihito whined, and was rewarded with the chocolate being pushed between his lips, followed by Asami’s hot tongue, melting the cocoa confectionary as it mixed with their saliva.

Akihito moaned into Asami’s mouth, the chocolate was long gone, but the lingering taste was still there, mixed with the taste of Asami, it was amazing.

It was ridiculous to feel bad, he was enjoying this a lot, this Asami was perfect, he shouldn’t feel like he was cheating on Asami _with_ Asami.

It was the same damn person.

Another chocolate found its way in between their mouths, causing Akihito’s thoughts to disappear completely as the taste flooded his system.

“Is that good?” his lover pulled away and asked, his eyes seeking approval, Akihito never thought he would say this about Asami, but he was so cute right now.

“So good, Asami.” He answered.

Asami smirked, feral and sugar crazed as he leant back down to attack him with confectionary fueled affection.

 

He was kissed everywhere, tickled and nibbled on, pinched, nipped and sucked on as Asami undressed him, both of them laughing uncontrollably when breath allowed them.

 

The crime lord put chocolates all over his body, trailing his flesh with his mouth to chomp down, bring the chocolate up, and share half with Akihito in a mind numbing kiss.

 

The photographer had no idea what Kirishima was talking about, how was this Asami bad? He was fucking awesome, and he would definitely be leaving bags of candy in plain sight around the penthouse from now on.

 

*****

 

_The sky was red, helicopters and jets were flying back and forth around Tokyo tower as a large hand swatted at the air craft like flies._

_“More sugar!” a deep voice boomed from the top of the tower._

_The giant Godzilla Asami clung to the side of the tower, crazed in his search for more sweet fuel._

_“Sergeant, we need to hit him with another ton of starbursts, ASAP!”_ _a panicked voice said over the communicator._

_“Give him everything we’ve got dammit!” Sergeant Kirishima screamed into the device, “Give him chocolate, give him jelly beans, give him lollipops, just stop the damn sugar beast!”_

_The spectacled sergeant watched from his vantage point as the massive creature ransacked Tokyo city, he’d torn open chocolate factories, sweet stores and markets in his craze, and he wouldn’t stop, there was nothing they could do._

_They were no match for Godzilla Asami, once he got his first taste of sugar, he was unstoppable, the end was coming._

Kirishima gasped awake, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath, he shot out of bed to look out the window of his apartment, relieved to see the Tokyo skyline look as it should.

 

He checked his watch, it was midnight, they were in the clear, his boss would be in the come down period now.

 

It seemed Takaba was capable of handling sugar Asami, but Kirishima would still see to it that Asami never got his hands on any more sweets, it just wasn’t worth the risk.

 

He would have to have a stern word with Akihito, when he saw him next.

 

 


End file.
